The Inner Critic's Guide to Total Burnout (and How to Stop Following It)

Jeannie Dafforn
Jul 1
3 min read

Last week, I was talking to someone and she said something I hear all the time from my clients. "I am so tired, something must be wrong with me because I'm not doing that much."

Then she rattled off a list of things she HAD to get done this week before she could go to the doctor or (gasp) take a break.

"I have so many decisions to make and I don't know where to start. The kids are home from school now and they have summer sports, my work is asking me to head a couple of projects, I have CEU's to finish and then a test to take, I was elected to a leadership position for the non profit I help and the training I am doing for the marathon needs to be leveled up but I'm told I'm making very little progress."

Then she laughed a little at herself and apologized for being dramatic. But it wasn’t funny. It was heartbreaking.

Because the problem wasn’t her energy.

It was the voice in her head telling her she had to earn rest.

That slowing down meant failure.

That if she just pushed harder, maybe she'd finally feel like she was doing enough.

Are you familiar with that voice?

...the one that says you should be more organized, more productive, more available, more in shape, more grateful, more everything.

Let me introduce you. That is your inner critic and let's be honest, she doesn't hold back and she's running a masterclass in burnout!

Why the Inner Critic Feels Normal

The inner critic is sneaky. It sounds like a coach, but acts more like a drill sergeant at bootcamp. And because it’s been with you for years (decades, maybe), you’ve probably accepted it as true.

It tells you that you need to “just push through,” that you don’t have time to feel tired or rest is for people who’ve done enough—which, conveniently, never seems to include you.

And it’s exhausting.

Not because you're doing something wrong, but because you’re living with constant pressure to prove yourself or be enough—to everyone else and to that voice in your head but never you.

What If You Listened to a Different Voice?

There is another one in there.

A quieter one.

The one you use for your partner, friends, kids, the dog. You know the one. It's kind, loving, caring, compassionate, understanding--

for everyone else but you!

It's your Inner Coach.

She doesn’t shame you into working harder. She guides you toward what matters, offers grace and reminds you that you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of care.

She might sound like:

“You’re allowed to be tired. Let’s figure out what you need.”
“That wasn’t your best moment. You’re still a good person.”
“This is hard. You’re doing your best. Let’s take the next step.”

So… What Now?

Here’s what I want you to know: You don’t have to live by the inner critic’s burnout plan anymore. You’re allowed to stop, reassess, and choose a better way and that does not include being your own bully!

Try this:

Notice when the critic gets loud, pause and say, That is not the truth. That is pressure talking.
Write down what your inner coach would say instead. Yes, write it. (Your critic is good at being loud. Writing helps you practice listening to something else.) Even better--have a list ready to remind you of who you are and what helps you ease the pressure.
Give yourself permission to rest before you earn it. You already have.
Stop apologizing for being human. Dramatic? No. You’re overwhelmed. You care. That doesn’t need an apology.